it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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