The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
