Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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