I wish I could teleport
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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