Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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