the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
