I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
