Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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