nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
the liver wants what the liver wants
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
