I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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