i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize