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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
