so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
