apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
