He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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