well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
