The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
