Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
