I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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