rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
