I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He did a backflip because drugs
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