So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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