Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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