It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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