The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
