Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
