he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
