how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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