I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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