party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
