The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Randomize
