did you get engaged???
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
