Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
