Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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