He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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