Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
