I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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