is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
