What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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