Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
