I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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