They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
