My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize