she smelled like a LAN party
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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