Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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