i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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