At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
