Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
