i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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