I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
