dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
