The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
where are my eyebrows?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize