you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
