I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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