apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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