I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
