Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
