i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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